


ad infinitum

by fleetingblossom



Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: F/M, Gen, all the possibilities in the universe still bring you back to them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 09:56:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17444684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleetingblossom/pseuds/fleetingblossom
Summary: It comforts you, just a little, to know that there exists the you in other universes who make the same choices.It comforts you little to know that there is not one universe in all of those infinite possibilities where you stay with them.





	ad infinitum

**Author's Note:**

> I finished Persona 5 two weeks ago, and all I think about is, of course, P3.

First,

there is

nothing.

Just

darkness

and

—your limbs—

nonexistent, detached, floating,

then,

a flood of feeling, all at once, filling the empty insides you didn’t know you had with warmth that bubbles from nowhere and everywhere all at once—Koromaru’s snuggle as he buries his snout against your jacket, Yukari’s shaking hands as she pulls the trigger, Akinari’s face as he turns towards the sun that one last afternoon—

your eyes snap open, and you remember, every iteration, every possibility, every decision you’ve ever made.

In midst of the swirling infinite, you find her—if you put your face to hers, you think your parents might have been hiding a twin sister you never had, had you not known the truth. She has more laugh lines than you, the corners of them crinkling and you remember that she loves people you don’t ever remember meeting but know that they love her, too.

She loves them so much that she would have sacrificed herself for them, time and time again.

In midst of the swirling infinite, you find him—if you look in the mirror, you think he is what you would see, a twin brother your parents had forgotten about, even though you know the truth. He looks much more like an adult than you do, the slope of his shoulders sagging and you remember that he loves people you don’t ever remember meeting but know that they love him, too.

He loves them so much that he would have sacrificed himself for them, time and time again.

It comforts you, just a little, to know that there exists the you in other universes who make the same choices.

It comforts you little to know that there is not one universe in all of those infinite possibilities where you stay with them past April.

—but you also remember the ones where you don’t choose them.

The ones where you unload a bullet inside death incarnate. The ones where he loves you and you break the heart of his that shouldn’t exist. The ones where you forget them before your world falls into eternal darkness.

The ones where Rio’s anger and resentment snaps her ankle three weeks before the most important tournament of the year—volleyball, tennis, it’s all the same to you, but it matters to her, and when she sobs, your guts wrenching, you remember how her smile looks when Kenji clumsily returns her love; the ones where Kenji is crying instead of Rio, an impromptu comedy sketch you never signed up for and the one-sided love he just can’t give up on.

The ones where Hidetoshi gets ground up and spit out by a company working him to the bone. The ones where Kazushi never walks again. Where Chihiro takes the blame and Saori is a doormat, where Keisuke quits his ambitions and Yuko continues to wander, aimless, listless. Bebe leaves without ever finding what he came to look for, Nozomi finds validation in the wrong place, and Bunkichi never finds his way home.

The ones where Maiko blames herself, where a teacher wastes away, where Mamoru forgets what is important, where Tanaka gets his heart stolen by phantom thieves and Mutatsu never gets the closure he needs.

The ones where they needed you, and you failed them.

The ones where you fall in love, deeply, desperately, the kind of love that keeps you clinging on four months, where they are the last person you see as your vision blurs, the sunlight warm and their smile in soft focus. The ones where you can’t die with them. The ones where Aigis holds you close, her metallic fingers through your hair and you swear through the haze and sunshine, she looks a little more human and a little less like gears whirring behind her eyes.

The ones where Elizabeth and Theodore never stop looking for you.

The ones where Junpei’s love saves Chidori, the ones where yours saves Shinjiro.

—and the ones where you are never given the choice to save him, that all too important pocket watch buried deep inside a lost and found box, nestled between forgotten jackets and wallets that are never reclaimed, the ones where you don’t get to see his expression when he realises he’s lost you, and it might have been much better if he hadn’t woken up at all.

The ones where your choices make a difference, even if it always leads you back here, your heart a safeguard for them. You know there are things you can never change—there is always a Velvet Room, there is always a Tartarus, there is always a car crash ten years ago that changes your life, there is always a choice you know you will have to make, and it will always lead back to the same place.

Then,

there will be

nothing.

Just their smiling faces,

and you know

you would choose them,

again

and

again.


End file.
